Humor Redefined

Hindi Alert

2011-12-08T08:21:00.001-08:00

A boy had a Girlfriend named Srishti
What did he say to her to impress her?

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"You mean THE WORLD to me" :-)

Home Sweet Home for Cattle

2011-11-27T20:58:00.001-08:00

Why can a horse be accommodated into non-valence-electron shell but not into valence electron shells ??

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Because non-valence-electron shells are "stable" :-)

The Ganga Influence

2011-10-29T01:39:00.000-07:00

Chaminda Vaas (Srilankan Bowler) once visited Allahabad to worship Holy Ganges. Stayed there for a month. But all that time he did not eat anything. Why ??

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Because he was in UP, so he became UP-Vaas (Fast) :D

Easiest Solution

2011-10-22T06:47:00.000-07:00

Ram samunder paar kar ke Lanka kaise pahuche??

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Unhone Ravan kii bahut tareef kii toh "taareefon ke pul" ban gaye . . aur wo uss pul ko cross kar ke Lanka pahuch gaye :D

Rishton mei daraar

2011-10-12T22:41:00.000-07:00

(Courtesy: Anurodh Srivastava)
Ek aadmi tha . . Wo apni biwi se bahut pyaar karta tha . . But ek din wo apni biwi ko crocodile bhare hue lake mei fek ke aaya. kyo ??

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Hume tumse pyaar kitna ye hum nahi jaante "magar" ji nahi sakte tumhare bina :-)

The Pact

2011-05-17T08:57:00.000-07:00

Do kaam waali baai thi . . Dono mei achchhi dosti thi.
Un dono ne ek din ek doosre ke ghar kaam karna start kar diya.
(Baai A works for baai B and vice versa)

Why??

Because they were "Maid for each other" :-)

Static Variable

2011-01-06T01:37:00.000-08:00

(Result of a Conversation with Sandeepan Jindal)
C mein static variables kya karte hain??

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C (Sea) mei static variable doob jaate hain !! :)

Exam time

2010-12-29T07:42:00.000-08:00

Santa's exams were going on. He didnt feel like studying, instead he wasted all of his time in watching TV or wandering. He was walking on the road-side, and saw a fat-lady standing at the bus-stop waiting for the bus. Suddenly, something clicked his mind. He went back home and started studying sincerely and excelled in the exams with bright result.
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..Why the sudden change??

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Because he felt Moti-waited (Motivated) . . !!

Naam gum jaayega

2010-12-28T21:40:00.000-08:00

(Courtesy: Navneet Gupta)
People call me Patangiraw nowadays . .
I was surprised . . Couldnt help but ask . . "Why're you messing up with my name?"

and the reply . .

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Because RAW IS WAR !! :-)

Reproduction

2010-07-12T07:19:00.000-07:00

Santa was delighted after a night-long train journey. When he came back home his wife, surprised, asks: "Why are you so happy today?"

Santa answers: "I have become a mother!!"

His wife asks how!!

Guess what he answers ....

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I gave BERTH to a boy in the train ;)

Padoge Likhoge toh banoge nawaab

2010-05-20T23:10:00.000-07:00

There was a boy named Sangeet in my class. His mother never forced him to study. Why??

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Oo aa Let the music (Sangeet) play !! ;) :P :P

Say no to Dowry

2010-05-20T02:34:00.000-07:00

शादी की बात करते समय लड़के के बारे में कहा जाता है - "लड़का हीरा है हीरा" और लड़की के बारे में - "लड़की साक्षात लक्ष्मी है लक्ष्मी"
गौर फरमाने वाली बात ये है की शादी में लड़की के माता पिता अपनी लड़की (लक्ष्मी) दे के लड़के (हीरे) को खरीदते हैं, जबकि भारतीय समाज में दहेज़ प्रथा तो कुछ उल्टा ही कहती है !
ये प्रमाण है की दहेज़ मुक्त शादी ही सफल शादी है :)

Java is not Portable

2010-05-19T04:56:00.000-07:00

Why do Java codes written in Delhi not get compiled ?

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Because they get written "in capital" (And Java is case sensitive :P)

What an Idea sir G !

2010-03-29T22:53:00.000-07:00

Ek aadmi tha . . but hi normal tha . . College mei padhta tha

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Ek din kya hua kii jab wo class gaya uske sir padha rahe the . . Wo unko uthaaya aur class se bhag gaya
Baaki students dekhte reh gaye . .

Pata hai usne aisa kyo kiya? . . .

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Kyoki uss din wo HDFC insurance kara ke aaya tha . . .

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Confused?? . .

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"Sir Uthaa ke G O (Sar uthaa ke jiyo)" :P :P

Law of Cooling

2010-03-26T02:15:00.000-07:00

Why does it feel cold on convocation night??

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Because the new grads take away their DEGREES :) :P

The Car seller

2010-03-10T05:22:00.000-08:00

Which company doesnt manufacture cars, but sells them???

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Monte Car-lo ;)

Respectfully speaking

2010-03-07T21:49:00.000-08:00

Which food product is most respected, honored in the world??

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Parle - G ;)

Easy Diet

2010-01-07T21:55:00.000-08:00

(Based on the concept introduced by Nikhil Ranade)

What is the easiest way of dieting???

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Light others' cigarette .... how??

You'll then become "lighter" B-)

Sirf ek Saridon aur sardard se araam

2009-11-16T22:57:00.000-08:00

Aisa Kaun hai duniya mei jisko kabhi sardard nahi hota??

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Ravan : usko head-ek(headache) nai dus hain :D

Go Veg!!

2009-10-10T10:53:00.001-07:00

Saare paagal (mad) non-veg kyo hote hain??

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Kyokii wo Paagal-khaane (pagal ko khaane) jaate hain :) :) :) :)

Paani mein Aag

2009-10-06T09:53:00.000-07:00

4 glasses hain . . A, B, C, D
Sabme paani bhara hai
Ab pehle waale mei matchstick jala ke phekne se wo bujh jaati hai
Doosre mei bhi match jalaa ke fekne se wo bhi bujh jaati hai . .
Same with the third
But last waale glass ke paani mei matchstick jala ke daalne se aag lag jaati hai. Kyo?

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kyoki glass tha 'D'. Toh uska paani D-Jal(diesel). Thats why it catches fire :)

He who cannot be killed

2009-09-12T10:39:00.000-07:00

Why is it not easy to kill Gen Parvez Musharraf of Pakistan?

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Because doing that is Mush-Kill :D

Advertisement: Wreckage!

2009-08-24T10:35:00.001-07:00

Wreckage is an event which is organized under the annual technical fest of NIT Warangal - TECHNOZION.

For more details contact GSD a.k.a Gaurab Sundar Dutta:

9966242378

visit http://www.technozion.org/ for more details.

Americano

2009-08-24T10:31:00.001-07:00

There was a guy whose name was 'hai'
Hai went to the shop and bought a hat and wore it. after sometime, he found an american teacher sitting on his head. He blabbered a few curses and threw him off and found his hat missing. He went to the shop again and bought another hat. Again after sumtime he found his hat turned into the american teacher. This happened several times. He started wondering how this happened. Can you give him the answer?

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Because his name was 'hai' which in hindi means is. That Hat was his 'topi' (Hat is called topi in hindi)
and we all know "is kii topi = us ke sir"
Us ke sir = american teacher!
thats why his hat got turned into the American teacher

Bechaara A

2009-08-12T21:43:00.000-07:00

Two guys standing on a bus stop: A and B

A asks B: Are you married?
B: Yes

A again asks B: Do u have children??
B: Yes

Now B asks A: Are you married?
A: Yes
B

B again asks A: Do u have children??
A: No

B: Rush to the hospital now!!!

Why does B say this?

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Because A first says Yes(haan) and then says No(nahi) that is, once haan and once naa . .
implies he has H1N1(1 baar haan, aur 1 baar naa)
So he must go for isolation facility.

Xclusively For Gujjus

2009-08-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

What is the value of narendra modi???

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1 . . . [=mod(i) where i=sq root of -1] :)

Sir Sir O Sir, we love you

2009-08-06T12:06:00.000-07:00

sabse pehla aadmi kaun tha jisko 'sir' ka designation mila?

West Indian Player - Ram Naresh Sarwan (sir-1) :)

the break up

2009-08-06T11:25:00.001-07:00

ladki thi . . . Use pehle dino moriya se pyaar ho jaata hai. . phir break up
uske baad dino sharma se pyaar hota hai . . phir se break up . . .
uske baad dino gupta se pyaar hota hai . . . phir break up . . .
uske baad dino joshi se pyaar hota hai phir break up . . .
ab usko pyaar hi nahi hota . . bataao kyo!!???

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because . . 4 'dino' ka pyaar o rabba lumbi judaai . .lumbi judaai

Bechaari Ladki ka kya kusoor

2009-08-06T08:18:00.000-07:00

Agar brett lee bus stop pe khade ho ke cigarette piye toh uski girlfriend bimaar kyo ho jayegi?

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socho socho..

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because he was doin sumthing ill-lee-gal :)

geet gaaya paththaro ne

2009-08-05T02:36:00.000-07:00

long . . long ago there was an early man. He once found two stones. He started rubbing one over the other!

and kept rubbing them

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and kept on rubbing

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for a very long time

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Guess what he found at the end

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Wife ('rub' ne bana di jodi)

Busy Waiting

2009-08-05T01:02:00.000-07:00

Write a program which waits forever and doesnt come to an end.

main()
{
int zaar; // (hindi/urdu intzaar)
}

I'm Sorry, Star plus

2009-08-05T00:07:00.000-07:00

Ekta kapoor bangalore aate hi marr kyo gayi?

KyoKi Yaha aate hi wo EkTha (ek-tha) kapoor ho gayi. (explanation for dumbest ppl: In south india ppl use 'th' instead of 't')

Duniya Mei Bahut Tension Hain

2009-08-04T23:57:00.000-07:00

Ladki ne aapse lift mangi,
Raste mein uski tabiat kaharab ho gai.
Aapko TENSION !!

Aap hospital le gaye,
Doctor bola - aap baap banne wale ho
Aapko TENSION !!

Aap bole - Mai iska baap nahi !
Phir ladki se pucha
Ladki boli - yehi baap hai.
Aapko aur TENSION.

Phir police ayi
Aapka medical check up hua.
Report aayi.
Aap to kabhi baap hi nahi ban sakte.
Aapko aur TENSION !!

Aap ne khuda ka shukar ada kiya aur aap Khushi Khushi ghar gaye !

Aur phir socha Ki ghar pe jo bachchay hai
Wo kiske hai...????????

Aapko Phir TENSION !!!!!!

thats so kareena?

2009-08-04T23:54:00.001-07:00

Mohd Ali Jinnah Decides to get married, he finds a very beautiful girl and has everything set. On the day of marriage, out of nowhere, kareena comes to claim him as his husband. Jinnah says he never married her . . . Kareena still is firm . . Y?

Jeena (Jinnah) sirf mere liye :D